Instead, like a Little House on the Prairie midwife, you were instructed to fetch a bowl of warm water to participate in the miraculous birth from pill to dinosaur.
It was the most exciting use of water since Crocodile Mile.
You toss in the pills, then eagerly watch eye level with the bowl, as INSTANTLY… nothing happens.
and so you wait…
until colorful blobs slowly begin to spill out from the capsules.
Finally some action! They’re growing!
You get so excited that you can’t hold yourself back to let them develop in peace. You begin stroking the dinosaurs while they are still in their in-between phase, only to rub your fingers in disbelief at how a future sponge could ever come from such a slimy placenta.
A couple more minutes, and then…DING! Your pills have successfully transformed into useless paper-thin pieces of sponge that had the absorption strength of a rock.
You prop up your new dinosaurs and have a brief battle between them. As usual, Stegosaurus wins again. Then you get bored and go back to constructing your invincible Lego spaceship, equipped with 41 laser guns and 63 missile launchers…
Next week you will throw the sponge-o-sauruses in the trash, and that’s where you will first realize that making babies is waaay more fun than taking care of them.